This was me in my fourth grade where my face started getting rounder

14 June 2021 | 12h58

So many topics for my next blog have been bombarding my mind that choosing the relevant one has been a mission. I’d like to engage in so many conversations that have been occupying my mind but let me settle for writing about the weight. Yes, a topic I used to avoid back when I was overweight but I enjoy entertaining the subject now that I’ve been able to take control of my body. There I was at the gym having a great morning session, I finish up and I go take a shower. I have to add that showering after training is an exhilarating feeling. That feeling of, yes I’ve accomplished today’s goal, the feeling of showering a lighter you after burning those unwanted calories is a feeling that can never get redundant. As I showered, a thought of a lady acquaintance from the gym passes my mind. As I finished off to get dressed in the changeroom, voila – there she is sitting on the bench. I’d just been thinking about her, next thing I see her a few seconds later. We can never deny that we are indeed spiritual beings. We are spiritually interconnected to each other and most importantly to our maker. When you think of someone, it’s never just a coincidence or out of the blue but the other person’s spirit connects with yours at that moment. It’s sort of like that moment in the legendary film The Lion King (the original version) where Rafiki receives a signal in the form of dust particles that Simba is alive.

Anyway, as I saw my lady friend at the gym, we had a mini catch-up session and while I was there admiring her beauty she told me how sad she is. She told me that she’d gained so much weight that it’s affecting her emotionally. I haven’t known her for long or what she looked like previously as she’s relatively new to our gym. She told me she changed clubs because everyone from her old gym marvels at how much weight she’s gained. She then changed clubs for her sanity. I looked at her and in my mind, I thought this woman is stunning, I wouldn’t change anything about her. She said sometimes she wishes to visit her relatives but refrains from it since they also whine about her weight gain. When she visited an old colleague recently, the colleague asked her if she’s was pregnant – that’s how mean people are! This infuriated me because my lady friend has a ravishing body! She’s gorgeous – why would people say such mean things? Even if she’s gained weight, why does everyone have to be so vocally abrasive about it?

My lady friend’s situation made me think of myself when I was younger. I started gaining weight towards the end of my primary school years and my classmates weren’t polite about it. It was worse when the same remarks were made by relatives. My aunt was the ultimate calorie counter – she’d spot a new calorie from the time my toe touched her yard. I dreaded visiting her. She always watched what I ate and when I didn’t eat, she’d complain that I wasn’t eating. I eventually shed the weight a few years later but I still didn’t enjoy visiting her as the emotional trauma couldn’t be revoked.

The weight subject made me cogitate on its delicacy. One wrong comment and you could impede someone’s life. Who gives people the audacity to make weight remarks? And mostly might I add, these are people with their own insecurities and so they find a target to carry their injurious yoke. One wrong comment and you could cause someone to have unpleasant memories of you for the rest of their life. I also remember just after I got married, people were so quick to locate my flaws. I moved to a new town where no one knew me so people were quick to spot my flaws so that they could have power over me. I was young, beautiful, with a new degree in a rural and on that account, many people felt intimidated – my mind wasn’t even there! As for my in-laws whom I lived with for a few months, getting dressed was a nightmare. I would have to find something that was loose fitting to hide the few kilo’s I’d gained but no matter how hard I tried, their microscopic lenses still pierced through the layers. They’d say “just look, your bra is too small now, your boobs are all over your chest”. When did their eyes reach my chest? One day we were attending a wedding with my husband and we arrived late. We arrived late as I was trying to find the right outfit which wouldn’t draw any attention to my body – all my efforts were in vain. Just after sitting down on one of the tables, my sister-in-law across me loudly said, “look at how much weight you’ve gained”. Did she have to say it just after I arrived? Why did she say it in front of other people? What was burning her so badly from her seat that she had to make that needless comment? Was I suppose to slice the calories with a knife and bleed in front of all the guests?

I find it very interesting that when you eventually lose the extra kilos, those with microscopic lenses suddenly have visual impairments. The same people who were so quick to spot you from a mile away disappear and pretend they didn’t even see you. Let each one remove the plank from their eye first. I saw a quote from cosmetics store Isabella Garcia International last week which says, “Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own”.


                                                  Lots of Love, Phindy xxx