On our way to school with Khazi, Milisa and I…

10 May 2021 | 13H22

Well, the whole world certainly stood still yesterday on May 10 to honour our beloved mothers. Mother’s Day always brings nostalgic feelings of what Mother’s Day used to be like as a youngster. In our family, we would wake my mother up with a lovely cup of tea and toast in bed, and sing out “M-U-M-M-Y, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MUM!!” Then we’d give her the cute handmade Mother’s Day card that makes mothers teary-eyed – the classic Mother’s Day card that has your child’s handprint either silhouetted with a pencil or stamped with paint, sweet. This year I got two of those and it was so endearing to see my children pacing toward me as I fetched them from school on Friday afternoon, each in anticipation of hugging me whilst remembering what the teacher taught them at school. I appreciate our teachers; they must have gone through a week-long lesson of teaching the children to memorise the line which they did so effortlessly. They were so excited to give me my Mother’s Day gifts that I almost thought it was children’s day – ha ha! I mean seriously, at times it takes several days, weeks, and months to instill basic manners but when the teacher teaches them a simple line to recite home, they do so with flying colours! By the way, do teachers know what an impact they have on our children? I mean Milisa just started a new school and he is head-over-hills about his new teacher, Mrs Abdul. No one dares to speak ill of her because everything, I mean E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G she says is correct. So if I want to get him to do something and he doesn’t want to, I just say I’ll tell his teacher and he’ll be up hotfoot. I’ve come to grow very fond of her too because of him.

I don’t know what it is about Mother’s Day but no matter how hard you may try to avoid the day (if you’re one of the people who never celebrate anything), it is unavoidable. There’s just something about the air that changes on the day. I think that is merely evidence that even the universe recognises the significance of mothers. Mothers are family builders who go through great extremes of giving their families everything out of nothing. A mother is a way maker, an innovator, a trouble-shooter. An expert improviser!

As malls were abuzz due to the Mothers Day craze and social media overhauled with sweet messages, I couldn’t pen the words to post on my accounts. I tried during several social media peak hours but I didn’t feel I had the perfect picture and caption which would resonate with my followers. I guess I overthought it and that resulted in a blank wall me but that’s okay because I’d rather post something that gives me Goosebumps instead of posting something that should apparently appeal to someone else. If it doesn’t move you, how can it move the reader? So that’s me in a nutshell when it comes to my social media: if my content doesn’t move me, I purely refrain from publishing it. I’d rather post something that would touch me first as verification of its impact on the next person.

So how was your Mother’s Day? Church was the highlight of mine – well, it was the only place we went to. I’m not so much of a socialite, I prefer staying indoors and having full control over the kids than visiting large open spaces where my pedantic mind over analyses all the potential dangers. My family says I rob my children from experiencing nature due to being overprotective and maybe they’re right, but I feel like the time will come for all of that but right now as a single mother, they’re safest at home. Yes, we do fun things every now again to stimulate their growing minds, I’m not insane of course, but until further notice, a bit of boring will do. As you read this you may think I’m crazy but I’m the mother as trusted by God and I’ll do as I see best. That’s another thing about motherhood: let mothers do what they think is best. Don’t you dare tell a well-capable mother how they should discipline or raise their child, it could be offending? I mean as mothers we do so much and at times hearing someone say “you’re not doing it right” can sound insulting even if it’s done with good intentions.

In a nutshell, moms, do what works for you. Whether you cut the edges of your child’s bread and another mom doesn’t, you’re still ‘n Ma. If you barely breastfed your baby and another mom did for two full years, you’re still ‘n Ma. If you had a C-section while other moms delivered their children naturally, that doesn’t make you any less of a mum – you’re still ‘n Ma. Happy Mother’s Day Mommas.


*** ‘n Ma is ‘n Ma means “A mother is a mother” in Afrikaans – One of the South African official languages ***


                                                                     Lots of Love, Phindy xxx